Gents, groom yourself on a budget.
Hello Gentleman, I am here to help you look your best in clothes and out.
Now I know I’m a fashion writer so I should be telling you about what clothes to wear and what clothes not to wear. But I think grooming yourself to perfection helps the look as a whole. I am in no way patronizing men everywhere by saying you can’t wash, and this will not be a video tutorial on how to brush your teeth. Think of this as a handy guide on making yourself look smart for that interview, or even making yourself look like Ryan Gosling for that hot date. And I’ve made sure everything is on a tight budget so you don’t need to fork out a wad of cash on toiletries or beard kits. This means you can splash out on that suit you’ve been eyeing up, or that lavish shirt and tie combo that damages your bank balance so heavily you’ll probably be living off Tesco’s own bran flakes for a while.
This list, means you can buy all of that guilt free, you’re welcome.
Exfoliator gets rid of skin impurities. It makes your skin look brighter by getting rid of any dry, dull skin. Getting rid of this can help keep pores from becoming clogged by any dirt (this can result in blackheads and spots – no one likes this).
Chicks dig good skin.
If you moisturise every day, not only will it make your skin brighter now, when you start to get wrinkly and old, your wrinkles won’t be as bad as your friends who didn’t moisturise.
Similarly if you have nice soft skin, girls will be more inclined to hold your hand or maybe touch your face.
Because shaving can be sore.
Bumpy, red, irritated skin looks really bumpy, red, and irritating. Here’s a though experiment: you’re getting close to a girl, you stroke her legs… Wait, what’s that? Feels weird and she’s wincing a little bit. You look down and see A SHAVING RASH. You now do not want to take things any further.
This what a shaving rash on men is like for us girls too.
This is a no brainer. I’m not going to expand on this. If you don’t own any, or your mum didn’t try and sneak it into your room when you hit puberty then you were clearly brought up in the wild so won’t be reading this anyway.
There’s nothing I love more than a good beard, but if you can’t take care of it and it’s just growing wild and looks a bit like pubes with bits of toast in it we all assume your personality is like this. We just won’t be able to trust you and will not want to procreate with you.
Again, similar to deodorant.
Shampoo & Conditioner
If your hair looks, feels and smells good then you will be good a husband.
There you have it. It seems simple, but just stepping out my front door and walking a few meters I can see many of you are not doing a couple of the above. Some of you are not doing any and this saddens those of us women who are looking for a life, or night, partner. I’m not looking for either, but will make sure my boyfriend reads this and really takes note; I am sick of asking if he’s brushed his teeth.